it was a strange time in my life

many will tell me im foolish. some may say im being stupid. but ive decided to not take up offers from the more popular companies like this and this (which i miraculously manage to get. one was from the interview. i thought i sucked. i guess they thought different.) and have decided (finally) to go home for my internship, to some small company 15 minutes away from where i live. which was ironically also the first company that offered me an internship placement.

i sent out 9 letters to 9 different companies. only 4 said yes. which is pretty good considering the fact that most only received one reply. and i think it's amazing how one piece of paper can decide everything. the hardest part was, i guess, making the decision. maybe it would have been better if only one said yes because then i didnt have to make all those "which is the best choice?" conversations with all those different people. in the end though, i decided to go with what i want instead of listening to what people say is the correct choice. i mean, life is short. my days here have been really stressful lately. and i dont want some 10 more stressful weeks. im basically doing this to save myself. in a way, i am. but im sure they'll still say im wasting away one good opportunity.

but at least i know that im good enough to go there now. i just choose not to.

i'll be taking a break from this for a while. how long? i dont know. why? because i dont think i can do this anymore. but, i'll be around. just not here.

so, see you around.